I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY BIPOLAR DISORDER!

I could relate to everything Tessa has to say here. I have been bi-polar my whole life. Too many are suffering in silence which I why I feel this story needs to be seen. Thank you for sharing with us, Tessa.

Advocate for Mental and Invisible Illnesses

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For the record, I am not ashamed of my Bipolar Disorder or my other mental health conditions or the physical disorders that have disabled me. I am thankful that I can still walk a little. I am not ready for a wheel chair. As long as I can hobble along I will do that.

For the first half of my  life I  had no idea what was wrong. Now I know and it doesn’t shame me. I am still a human being that just has a disease like any other. There are doctors to treat this disease and therapy to help us through it. We just need to clear up the stigma and shame put on us by others, whether well meaning or not.

I won’t say it hasn’t affected my life because it has. I have had some bad experiences because of it. I have trouble with medications and…

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5 thoughts on “I AM NOT ASHAMED OF MY BIPOLAR DISORDER!

  1. Shame is such a powerful, inhibiting emotion. It does have its place in helping us understand faults, but it has no place in regard to who we are. Never be ashamed of who you are, life is not a fault. There is such a stigma surrounding mental illness, and I dare say the terms, “mental illness,” and, “disorder,” don’t help the stigma. I prefer to think of such things as part of being human. We were not all made the same, so why should we all be the same? There is a place in this world for all of us.

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  2. Being bipolar doesn’t mean you don’t function within society so why be ashamed of it. It’s an illness like any other illness which requires treatment. That treatment can almost make us see the world rationally and regard ourselves as being worthy of sharing in it.
    Never be ashamed of who you are even if who you are is a chemical imbalance.It’s there, it’s yours and it makes you who you are.Still just as individual as anyone who doesn’t suffer the same imbalance.Enjoy your uniqueness.
    Hugs

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    1. I am okay with being bipolar. It took a long time but I have made peace with my diagnosis. I am actually grateful for it at this point because it has allowed me to be of help to others who are suffering.
      I have read that bipolar is either hereditary or environmental. I believe mine is both. I also read about a study done using images of the brain. A large percentage of the images showed a lesion which if I remember correctly is behind the ear. I can’t remember which one but I believe it was always the same side.
      I am the sum total of all of my experiences. The good, the bad and the brutally ugly. Those experiences have enabled me to have more compassion for my fellow humans.
      The biggest part of myself that I still struggle with is the fact that I am an empath. I have yet to learn how to protect myself from the overload of feelings that I absorb when in a large group of people. There are times I can go into Walmart fairly sane and rational but upon exiting, I can almost be psychotic.
      I was in a meeting once with total strangers. For an entire hour I sat staring at one young woman in particular. Even though she had worn her happy mask to the meeting, I could feel her broken spirit bleeding profusely. She was screaming at the top of her lungs for someone to help her. I raced to catch up with her before she could leave the building. Even before introductions were made I begged her not to do it. The look on her face was incredulous. “How did you know”? At that point in time, I didn’t even understand. We talked for awhile. She just needed someone to hear her pain and validate her feelings. She did not kill herself. She got help.
      Please forgive me for rambling on and on. I am ALWAYS long winded!

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  3. Great comments already. Just my two cents: I have struggled “coming to terms” with being bi-polar (and anxiety disorder). It is so easy to slip into believing it is what defines one’s self. But it is more than “coming to terms,” which is another way of saying one has begrudgingly accepted the reality (like coming to terms the relatives who moved in for a little while are not going anywhere and are not permanent guests in the house). It is about being at peace with one facet of who we are, to achieve a place of loving one’s self (while not looking away from the aftermath of years of living with it not adequately treated or not being treated at all).

    The other facet is to recognize everyone experience some level of mania and depression (I prefer the term manic-depressive because it doesn’t shy away from what I am experiencing). The difference is that others don’t escalate into mania and/or depression to the point of being debilitating. At the same time time, experiencing momentary low-level mania or depression for a short duration is not the same as experiencing it daily year after year — it is like water torture. It is not the first dozen of drops that are unbearable, it is the years of drops with the belief it will never stop.

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